Everyone's relationship with God is unique just like how each one of us is! :)
I want to write down what happened two days ago. Actually, a lot happened on the weekend. So, I had been to my friend's bachelors party. And it happened to be really fun. So, what happened is she had asked me if I would be having an alcoholic drink and nothing came to my mind when she asked, so I said no (I am not fond of any alcoholic drink anyway so it really didn't bother me). Now I am at the party, and I see beer and I thought to myself oh yes I completely forgot about beer. Now, after I said I can drink beer. My friends said you can drink vodka too. "Drink little Vodka with us". Only two girls there were drinking vodka, one my friend who is to marry and another friend. I do not like Vodka and Now, I do not also like to mix drinks too, that's something I have learned is not good to do. They said they'll mix it with a cold drink and make it drinkable for me. I said okay reluctantly. So now, My friend whose bachelor's party it was is not used to drinking. And her friend who was drinking vodka make her drink a lot. I had no idea of the effects it would create on my friend. I was just somewhere in my own world when they were drinking. Actually, by now, the vodka had slowly started hitting me. After some time the girls said they need to leave for the night, and I was the only was to stay. Now my friend comes and tell me,I want to go for a smoke. We used to smoke earlier, not very often though and maybe because it was her party she felt like it and to be honest I have been trying to run away from it. Because, I just feel it can be a bad example to people around me and I do not want to encourage people to smoke. So, the thing is I have been battling with it because I did not want to be a bad example to anyone in any way spiritually speaking or for the person's physical health. And I keep asking God and have dual thoughts about it. This is my understanding as I am writing - I know whatever God asks us to do is for our benefit when it comes to smoking. Doing anything excessively is bad for health, and there can be a reason that socially, smoking is considered bad because it can be addictive, which can lead to serious illnesses. So, my idea is that doing anything is not wrong, but we do it very rarely. Now, it so happened that after I drank the Vodka, I started feeling a Lil uncomfortable and I felt the urge to smoke, which I was controlling with great difficulty. And after a while, as I mentioned earlier, my friend too told me she wants to go for a smoke.
Now, is when the drama begins. Because what happened after that is something that affected me. See I mentioned that my friend is not used to drinking. By the time, the other friends left, she walked to the main door of her house and said she'll ask her mother to give her the car key, Before this, the thing she was a Lil not okay so I was not completely in the favor of her driving the vehicle, but I was not sure what exactly was the case with her. I thought may be she will be able to handle it. Because with me it's different, I am a careful driver. Even, if I feel a lil uncomfortable. I make sure I concentrate on driving. If I know I cannot, I will not. So Like I said, I was not sure what was the position of my friend. Now, she is at the door asking her mother that she wants the car to drop her friends, because she wanted to go for a smoke. Now she said, I will tell my mother, I have to drop the two girls. And I start feeling uncomfortable because I do not go well with lies. acc to her, her mother would not give her the vehicle otherwise, So, now she is at the door asking her mother for the keys and her mother tells her to change her clothes and then go, because it was late in the night and she was wearing a dress. Safety is a priority, with us girls we were in the house so it was okay. Now, her mother tells her that without her changing she is not going to give her the key
As time was passing, I did not know that the alcohol had really affected my friend, because she was not talking right after a couple of mins. She tried asking her mum the key, and she said something which could not be understood ( i started panicking and her mum realized she is not supposed to give the key to her so she said I will not give the key). Meanwhile, she told her mum again that she needed the key to dropping her friends who like I said had already left. ( by now I was feeling really uncomfortable because she was going to lie to her mother and take the vehicle) I do not lie and make sure I avoid any kind of lying, so when she said that to her mother. I happened to be a little uncomfortable. And by now she wanted the key from her mother so bad that she was forcing it on her. When I realized that, I thought to myself forget the smoke. It is not right. I told her mother no one is there, they all left. I was feeling bad at that time, that I am to be a mediator to tell her mother that she lied about dropping someone because she wanted to drive. It could have been dangerous, I did not know that her state was that worse. So, something happened to me. I really started feeling uncomfortable thinking was God trying to show me something through this episode because I was in a bad place handling my friend in that state. I didn't want to be that because of me encouraging her, that she got a company for smoking and she wanted to go. I started questioning. I just wanted to know if there was anything of my part that could have saved the misery. I just have this feeling that when I know God I AM responsible for my every action and I cannot let anyone else falter because of my actions. I should be the reason people are encouraged to do something which will affect their spiritual or physical well being, and IF I had gone with her supporting her lie just because I wanted to smoke. I don't know it would have been a disaster that day. I felt like I was responsible to tell her mother that there was noone to drop. But after that, I did not find much relief. T
hough she did not remember most of what happened. I need to know if there is something I am supposed to learn from what happened.
PS: (All records in my blog are for personal introspection and growth. Kind requests to not judge the writer or her friends in this regard)
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